I have ended up chatting with friends a lot about relationships lately (which I think may have something to do with the fact that I’m getting married in three weeks…probably should go back and fill that whole thing in given that I have been engaged for two years at this point oops.. but for now, back to my learnings) and I have have come to a pretty simple understanding of dating – it’s half luck and half skill.
Let me explain that a little further:
The half luck is the tricky part because its basically a matter of meeting a person you click with, and there are certainly things you can do to increase the chances of this happening but in the end luck is luck.
The skill I am talking about isn’t about pick up lines or the ability to pick the correct outfit, it’s about admitting that we aren’t all naturally good at dating (pretty sure I am still in this camp, I was just lucky enough to meet someone who was attracted enough to me that they overlooked the awkwardness and endless chatter) and that just means you need to PRACTICE. You need to date A LOT – this does not mean that you should go out with someone you are not attracted to, but it does mean that you should say yes to opportunities. This (three paragraphs in) is where we get to the point of this post – internet dating lets you ‘meet’ more people to say yes to going on a date with, particularly if your current life set up doesn’t lead to meeting a lot of new people.
Because, you see, the aim of all this PRACTICE is so you are ready when lady luck smiles upon you. Ready to recognise when the right person enters your life, ready to feel a little sure of yourself and ready to jump in. I think they got the term ‘falling in love’ a little wrong. See, in my mind, before the falling begins there is the all-important, often scary, but always necessary, need to jump.
Internet dating is a tool, there are many others, but I think it’s a great way for those who are a little rusty or have never ventured into dating before to start meeting new people and get some practice in.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.